Friday, November 18, 2016

filling the well

 i am so tired. i am tired of people being nasty to each other, of divisiveness and hatefulness and us against them. i am tired of not being home and not making art and not seeing my husband and dogs and friends. tired of uncertainty. i have a nasty cold and just want to curl up in front of a fire with hot toddies and a stack of books until spring.

i'm usually pollyanna, annoyingly so, i suspect. but right now, i need a minute.

my company is reorganizing and i don't know if i will still have a job with them next year. i know that i have good friends who will be affected. we all understand that's part of how it goes when working for a large corporation, and i have faith that it will work out for the best, but it remains unsettling.

without going all gloom and doom and hand wringing i am just amazed that my country elected a man who is about to stand trial for corruption and for rape (a 15 year old, no less); a man supported by the KKK; a man who brags about not paying taxes and not paying people who do work for him because he's so smart, president. i am trying to figure out what positive steps i need to make to stand up. i know plenty of really good people who voted for this man, i need to remember that and remain on that common ground with them while standing in the light.

i have been drawing, but i haven't really gone into any of this in journal pages or in my art. i haven't really wanted to. constant motion makes it easier to avoid going deep, and focusing on what must be done keeps me going forward. 

after 3 night business trip and one night at home i headed to florida to celebrate a friend's birthday. arrived with a nasty cold. got to spend 3 days with my dear friend just hanging out, enjoying the sun, helping her get some things done. slow down, decompress, good for the soul. time to think about what's important and be grateful for what life has brought me and remember commonalities. open to possibilities. we never know what's in the future, but i do trust myself to take care of myself and to decide to be happy.

and now, home. less travel til the end of the year. family coming for thanksgiving and a dinner planned with them and friends. studio time. time to slow down and think. time to figure out how to give back and in what ways i can make a difference. 

time to make art. looking forward to seeing what the muse has to say-

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